I am capable of loving again and my bell isn't broken. I truly thought it was.
A.D.D. affects how I process audio input and memory management more than I realized.
I have to keep walking if I want to feel better physically (thanks again for the shoes and the encouragement).
I cannot allow myself to accept blame from you when I have done nothing wrong. Our definitions of "wrong" aren't necessarily the same, in all cases.
I can forgive you, even if you don't apologize.
My loving heart is so much stronger than I realized, thank God.
Respecting another person's wishes doesn't mean I have to agree with them. And, sometimes you are wrong!
I missed the quiet, intimate moments and romance in my life.
I give wise counsel, when it is asked for. I hope you remember the things I shared with you.
I need to be more assertive and set clear boundaries in relationships. When I don't, I get run over again and again. I'm working on that, but it's hard for me.
I still have the capacity (the fortitude) to trust another person. I trusted you.
I won't know if a person is trustworthy until I take a chance and just trust them, and then see what happens. Honestly, that's exhausting for me. I'd rather just believe everyone is trustworthy, you know? I know it's not true, but that's what I'd rather believe. It's like you're always checking things off on a list. I usually only use lists for grocery shopping and projects that I have to manage, not people.
My heart needs to feel loved unconditionally. I thought I could live without it, but I guess I was wrong.
I don't say "no" when I should. This often translates to over extending myself, and my resources to the point of breaking, in order to support your needs. If you can't afford to feed yourself, I can't either. If you can't afford to buy your own beer, I shouldn't either. I end up in trouble when I over extend. I need to say "no."
When it feels like I'm the only person going out of my way to facilitate a relationship, I need to stop and back off. It's obviously an indicator of how that relationship will end up down the road. Hindsight is bliss, right?
I have the most awesome, loving, giving, supportive friends in the world. I am SO grateful for their willingness to support me, talk with me, and spend time with me. I am blessed with wonderful true friends.
I will miss the wonderful parts of our relationship, which were consistent 3/4 of the time. I will not miss the painful part of our relationship, the angry outbursts, the spitefulness, the accusatory episodes when there was actually nothing to accuse me of. I always wondered, if I suddenly got hit by a bus and died during one of those times when you had shut me out, how would you feel if your last words to me were angry and mean. Life is too short to live on those terms. You are intelligent and you have to know that you are setting yourself up for huge permanent regrets if you continue this path.
You affirmed things in myself that I already knew. Yes, I'm empathic. Yes, my hands have a special touch that brings healing to some. Yes, I'm intuitive and have a strong "third eye" for things going on in the world. I am a good person. My intention is positive, loving, and giving.
I learned how to let go.
It's really hard to do that when you deeply love
someone. I've learned it's better to let go than
hang on and continue in agony when another
episode happened which made being with you
so painful.
I know you'll think of me, and of the loving, sweet times we've shared together. Chances are likely you will miss them, just as will I. Maybe you've learned things from me, too. I hope you'll remember the good things, as I plan to do, and let the bad things go.
I wish you well.
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